joseph's prayer

"This isn't the way I planned it, God. Not at all. My child being born in a stable? This isn't the way I thought it would be. A cave with sheep and donkeys, hay and straw? My wife giving birth with only the stars to hear her pain? This isn't at all what I imagined. No, I imagined family. I imagined grandmothers. I imagined neighbors clustered outside the door and friends standing at my side. I imagined the house erupting with the first cry of the infant. Slaps on the back. Loud laughter. Jubilation. That's how I thought it would be.

But now. Now look. Nazareth is five days' journey away. And here we are in a . . . in a sheep pasture. Who will celebrate with us? The sheep? The shepherds? The stars? This doesn't seem right. What kind of husband am I? I provide no midwife to aid my wife. No bed to rest her back. Her pillow is a blanket from my donkey. My house for her is a shed of hay and straw. The smell is bad, the animals are loud. Why, I even smell like a shepherd myself. Did I miss something? Did I, God?

When you sent the angel and spoke of the son being born--this isn't what I pictured. I envisioned Jerusalem, the temple, the priests, and the people gathered to watch. A pageant perhaps. A parade. A banquet at least. I mean, this is the Messiah! Or, if not born in Jerusalem, how about Nazareth? Wouldn't Nazareth have been better? At least there I have my house and my business. Out here, what do I have? A weary mule, a stack of firewood, and a pot of warm water. This is not the way I wanted it to be! This is not the way I wanted my son. Oh my, I did it again. I did it again didn't I, Father? I don't mean to do that; it's just that I forget. He's not my son . . . he's yours.

The child is yours. The plan is yours. The idea is yours. And forgive me for asking but . . . is this how God enters the world? The coming of the angel, I've accepted. The questions people asked about the pregnancy, I can tolerate. The trip to Bethlehem, fine. But why a birth in a stable, God?

Any minute now Mary will give birth. Not to a child, but to the Messiah. Not to an infant, but to God. That's what the angel said. That's what Mary believes. And, God, my God, that's what I want to believe. But surely you can understand; it's not easy. It seems so . . . bizarre.

I'm unaccustomed to such strangeness, God. I'm a carpenter. I make things fit. I square off the edges. I follow the plumb line. I measure twice before I cut once. Surprises are not the friend of a builder. I like to see the plan before I begin. But this time I'm not the builder, am I? This time I'm a tool. A hammer in your grip. A nail between your fingers. A chisel in your hands. This project is yours, not mine.

I guess it's foolish of me to question you. Forgive my struggling. Trust doesn't come easy to me, God. But you never said it would be easy, did you? "

I wonder. Did Joseph ever pray such a prayer? Perhaps he did. Perhaps he didn't. But you probably have. You've stood where Joseph stood. Caught between what God says and what makes sense. You've stared into a sky blackened with doubt. And you've asked what Joseph asked. You've asked if you're still on the right road. You've asked if you were supposed to turn left when you turned right. And you've asked if there is a plan behind this scheme. Things haven't turned out like you thought they would.

Each of us knows what it's like to search the night for light. Not outside a stable, but perhaps outside an emergency room. On the gravel of a roadside. On the manicured grass of a cemetery. We've asked our questions. We questioned God's plan. And we've wondered why God does what He does.

No, the Bethlehem sky is not the first to hear the pleadings of an honest heart, nor the last. And perhaps God didn't answer every question for Joseph. But he answered the most important one. "Are you still with me, God?" And through the first cries of the God-child the answer came. "Yes. Yes, Joseph. I'm with you."

There are many questions that we won't be able to answer. Many times we will muse, "I wonder . . ." But in our wonderings, there is one question we never need to ask. Does God care? Do we matter to God? Does he still love his children? Through the small face of the stable-born baby, he says yes. Yes, your sins can be forgiven. Yes, your name can be written in heaven. Yes, death has been defeated.

Because God has entered the world. Immanuel. God is with us.

-Max Lucado

christmas through their eyes

Christmastime is so different once you have children. It has been such fun watching their excitement during the course of this month. Of course, their favorite part is the gifts, which can only be expected, but their joy and curiosity is just so refreshing. So many people dislike the Christmas season - all the hustling and bustling and racking up the credit cards, but looking back at what it's like to celebrate Christmas as a child...man, it's exciting. It just melted my heart this year when Anna insisted on having a birthday cake for Jesus. It puts it in perspective for us to slow down and remember the birth of Christ and the real reason we celebrate.

christmas cookies

Anna & Jack had their first try at making Christmas cookies last week. It took a little patience, but we got through it. Anna did a great job helping with the cookie cutters. We made stars, gingerbread men, bells, and angels. She learned how to use a rolling pin and had flour all over the place. Jack ate more frosting than he used on cookies. He literally had a rainbow on his chin. It was a great time. The cookies weren't as pretty as other years, but they sure tasted better.

santa encounter

The kids got to see Santa Claus up in Park Falls over Thanksgiving weekend. Jackson didn't really know what to think of his big white beard. He didn't really like Santa very much. Someday I'm sure he'll be a big fan. Anna was absolutely thrilled to see him and sat on his lap. She told him what she wanted for Christmas and that she was a good girl. A couple weeks later in the Wausau mall, Anna sat on Santa's lap. He asked her what she wanted for Christmas and she said, "Don't you remember? I told you in Park Falls!" He asked her to leave him some cookies, so she wants to bake every day now.

pretty boy

The kids love to play dress-up. Anna gets a thrill out of making Jack look like a girl. I think someday soon we'll have to get him something a little more masculine. He has gotten into Mommy's lipstick a few times. One day he was drawing pictures on our bedding. Thank the Lord for Grandma Rosie's talents of getting stains out!

trick or treat

The princess and the dragon were a hit trick or treating this year. Jackson was a little hesitant at first, but once he realized these nice people were giving him candy, he raced Anna up to the door. Because of the cold wind, we only went out for about a half hour. They had a great time though. And it was nice for us to visit with neighbors.


Anna got to choose what she wanted to be for trick or treating this year. At first we were like, "A princess? Really?" But her costume turned out really cute. She's such a pretty little girl.


The suspense after ringing the doorbell.

wisconsin dells weekend

We had an absolutely marvelous time in the Dells this weekend. Bill's grandparents were celebrating their 50th anniversary and treated the whole family to a weekend at the Wilderness Resort & Waterpark. We all had such a great time. Bill especially...he was like a 12 year old kid running around from waterslide to waterslide. There were four indoor waterparks within the facility. It was quite impressive.

"falling" for you

We have had a gorgeous, unseasonably warm autumn this year. Although the warm weather has been nice, I sometimes miss the chill the season usually brings. The colors have come and gone, but the leaves are sure fun to jump in. The kids have had a blast with all of the leaves out at Auntie Megan and Uncle Ben's house. We lost a few large trees in our yard late this summer in a bad storm, so we haven't got much raking at our place. I guess it saves on work, but somehow it's just not the same. It's been beautiful and we should cherish these days. A few months from now when the snow and slush get old, we'll wish for these days.

baby lauren

On Monday, October 15th, baby Lauren Renee was born to our friends Pastor Dan and Kristy Sterken. Lauren is currently under care in St. Joseph's Hospital in Marshfield. There was a placental abruption during labor. Lauren was born with an Apgar score of 1 after suffering an injury to her brain. They are unsure of her prognosis, but the doctors tell them that 80% of babies with her symptoms end up having serious motor skill impairments. We ask for your prayers for this beautiful little girl and our friends Dan, Kristy, and their daughter (and Anna's little friend) Abby.

baby benjamin

Anna and Jackson go to an in-home daycare in Weston on Thursdays. Their daycare provider, Miss Jackie, just had a baby boy on October 6th. Here is a picture of the kids seeing baby Benjamin for the first time. They were just amazed at how tiny he is and laughed at all the funny noises he made when he slept. Anna spoke to him in such a lofty gentle voice. It was so sweet to see how motherly she is. Jackson looked at him like he couldn't believe Benjamin was actually real. They will begin daycare again at Miss Jackie's house this Thursday. The baby will probably get a lot of attention.

buddies

It has been so heart-warming as Jackson grows up to see a relationship develop with his Daddy. They are truly best buds. They love to wrestle and watch football together. Bill is also looking forward to the winter, so they can go ice fishing out on the lake.

I think all too often these days, fathers don't spend enough one-on-one time with their boys. I am so blessed with a husband who sees the importance in that time and isn't afraid to show our children how much he loves them.

Another thing about Bill I really appreciate is how great he is alone with the kids. Two nights a week, I come home later from work and supper's always ready, the kids are ready to eat and the house is relatively clean. What a guy! In a couple weeks, he's going to be with the kids alone for a whole weekend during our girls' Christmas shopping trip. Not many guys can handle that!

best baker in town

Anna has been such a big helper in the kitchen. She loves to help momma out with baking or making supper. She always has such a big sense of accomplishment when people like the food she helped prepare.

Anna is beginning to understand the concept of a recipe, but she calls it a "map." We're trying to teach her different measurements as well as the ingredients. "Flour" is a tough one for her. She always says, "More 'flowers' Momma?"

Of course, her favorite part of baking is testing the batter or dough. She's pretty funny. Sometimes, after I tell her "no more," she'll try to sneak bites when I'm not looking. She's so much like her dad in so many ways. What a kid!

apple dumpling

Jack has been growing up so quickly. I look at this photo and think, "What? My baby's eating apples all by himself! I don't have to skin them, mash them, or even cut them up?" He sure grew up fast. It seems so cliche to say, but I seriously don't know where the time went.

Our little man has been learning so many new words lately and is beginning to form them into sentences. This morning he asked me, "Momma, Aya go nigh nigh?" (Wondering if Anna was awake yet.) Last week he found a AA battery in a drawer and said "In my choo choo." He had watched Bill replace the batteries in his train set about a week earlier. He's so smart already at 19 months!

Jack has been also learning how to pester his sister. He likes to swipe a toy she's playing with and take off running down the hall. Whether he's just being a little stinker, or if he really just wants her to chase him and play with him, we'll never know. It's quite humorous to watch though, until you have to break up a fight.

our little cubbie

This year is Anna's first year as an AWANA cubbie at church. AWANA is a bible club held at our church on Wednesday nights for kids ages 3 and up. She absolutely loves it! At Cubbies, they learn bible verses, hear bible stories, have puppet time, game time, art projects, and of course snacks.

One major focus of AWANA is that the home is the primary place for spiritual training. During the week, we sit and work through her Jumper book with her and she practices her verses and recites them to her leaders on Wednesdays at club. It's really amazing that a three-year-old can soak up that much scripture! It can sure teach us all a lesson! She loves to be read to and learn new things! It's giving us high hopes for school next year!

She is sure making her mommy and daddy proud! She is so proud of herself too! She gets to wear a special little cubbie vest and gets a new patch for her vest when she completes each section in her book. When we pick her up from Cubbies on Wednesdays, she can't wait to show us what she did and the things she learned.

AWANA has had a big influence in my (Holly's) life too. I went to AWANA as a child and can still remember so much of what I learned through the program. We are so thrilled that our children will have the opportunity to go through the same books and learn the same biblical principles and foundations of christianity. Next year, Jack will get to be a part of AWANA too. They just started a group called "Puggles" for 2 year olds. (Apparently a puggle is a baby platypus?) Learn something new every day!

To learn more about AWANA, check out their website at www.awana.org